


Jam Cupcakes

by SophiaBoo



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-26 22:45:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2669195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophiaBoo/pseuds/SophiaBoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My first go at John Watson/Reader. Being a fan of Martin Freeman's version of John I thought it would be a good idea to write a story about John and an original female character for the sole purpose of the reader taking her place in their mind and swoon over him for a few chapters. Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. I could've saved him

**Author's Note:**

> My first go at John Watson/Reader. Being a fan of Martin Freeman's version of John I thought it would be a good idea to write a story about John and an original female character for the sole purpose of the reader taking her place in their mind and swoon over him for a few chapters. Hope you enjoy!

He wasn’t breathing.  
"Dead," John Watson said, eyes on Sherlock Holmes. – Definitely dead.  
I held my breath and felt a pinch in my stomach.  
"How unfortunate," Sherlock replied coldly.  
Jason was dead, it couldn’t be happening. He was okay only ten minutes ago. But we lost him and they got him.  
"Sherlock, we should tell Greg."  
"I’m sorry but I think Lestrade is our priority right now," said he, reaching for his phone.  
John shook his head slowly and kept examining the poor sod’s body.  
"Yes, look at these bruises. He was choked to death. Oh, Jason…"  
"Come quickly, I won’t be here all day!" Sherlock put his phone back into his coat and kneeled next to John to take a better look. "Yes, choked," he agreed. "But have you noticed?"  
He pointed at something close to Jason’s heart, but I wasn’t listening anymore.  
I could’ve saved him. If only I…  
I was there, with him, and then I wasn’t. So stupid. SO reckless. Sherlock, he had trusted me. And I had failed him. My eyes went watery as Sherlock’s speech grew faster and more incomprehensible.  
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped.  
"You okay?"  
It was John. I was too distracted to even see him walking towards me. I thought I'd nodded.  
"Emma?"  
But clearly I hadn’t. I nodded this time, not feeling brave enough to look into his eyes.  
"You look pale," he said.  
"I’m okay," I managed to say. "You know I’m becoming good at crime scenes."  
"But you’re still rubbish at lying." I now looked at him. He was smiling.  
"I probably need some air," I admitted.  
"Sure. Sherlock, we’re going out for a bit."  
"It’s alright, John. I can—"  
"I’m coming with ya."  
Sherlock didn’t even look at us. He simply growled and kept being smart.  
Once we walked out of the old abandoned building, I took a few deep breaths. I noticed John was still grabbing my shoulder. I dared to touch his hand.  
"I’m okay."  
My voice trembled.  
"Doesn’t seem like it," he said in a low voice. Then he held both my hands and leaned close. I blushed furiously. "It wasn’t your fault," he whispered.  
I couldn’t help but start crying. Stupid five year-old me.  
"Oh, no, no, no," he put his arms around me and held me there for a few seconds until I stopped sobbing like a baby. "There."  
"I’m so sorry," I whispered, terrified, and held on his jacket for dear life.  
"Emma, there was nothing you could do, mark my fucking words."  
"But what if-?"  
"There was no way he could’ve managed to be running forever. You did your best. And of course," he caressed my hair tenderly, "if you hadn’t gone out of the room and checked for me, I would probably be lying on the floor too."  
"That’s not true, you had your gun."  
I was enjoying his closeness so much I just kept disagreeing.  
"He did, too."  
"You’re quick."  
"Emma, please."  
"You should go back. Sherlock will be needing someone to look clever with."  
I felt John’s laughter in my right ear and I shivered.  
"Please stop feeling guilty. It was our case anyway. You shouldn’t have bothered. And you were huge help."  
I snorted.  
"Thanks, John. I’ll be fine. I’m just gonna have to get used to this, I guess. Screwing things up."  
He growled.  
I was the one to finally break the hug. I looked at John, he seemed puzzled.  
"You sure you’re okay?"  
"Yeah. Or at least I will be."  
"Baker?"  
"I’ll get a cab."  
"I’ll go with you," he offered.  
"John…" I started. He started to get close to me again but I turned my back to him.  
"Umm, text me if you guys find anything else. And tell Sherlock I’m sorry."  
"Emma…"  
"Thank you, John", I smiled and started to walk towards the street. I heard John taking a few more steps to follow me but then he stopped and simply said: "See you in about an hour. Call me if you need me... us."  
"Will do." And that was all.


	2. We should double-date sometime

Baker Street had become my favorite place in the world since I first met John and Sherlock. Long story short, the latter had been clever enough to find my mother after she had been kidnapped by some horrible dude. The police searched for her for weeks, it wasn't until Sherlock took care of things that they found her. It only took him a day. I’ll always be in debt with Sherlock Holmes.  
When I was first introduced to John Watson, his best friend and colleague, I knew he was something else. He wasn't cold and sharp as the detective, but kind and clumsy and nice... Basically everything Sherlock was not. And that was enough for me to like him instantly.  
Given my mom got re-married and I was already grown-up enough to leave home, I went flat-hunting with no hope at all, when I got a phone call from an old friend.  
The always lovely Molly Hooper suggested a flat-share, and I said yes immediately. She was a bit older than me, but didn’t look or sound a day over twenty-five.  
"This could be very nice", I said when I got to her place. A small apartment with tons of pink and flowers. "Very nice, indeed!"  
"I know, right?! Really cozy. Umm, the... stuff room, as I call it, should be okay for you, I reckon."  
She guided me to a very messy room, full of books and things I couldn’t even tell what they were. Molly worked at the morgue at St Bart's and sometimes brought her work home. Definitely not as Sherlock did: her fridge wasn’t full of body parts.  
"I know, it's a bit... messy", she smiled awkwardly.  
"Oh, don't you worry, it's fine... It could do with a repaint, though."  
She laughed. Her phone rang and she blushed furiously as soon as she looked at the screen.  
"Who is it, eh?” I winked.  
"A... guy."  
"Oh!"  
"Hi! Yes... Um, sure! I'll be on my way... Ten minutes, I promise. Alright, Sherlock... Bye!"  
"Sherlock?!"  
"Um, yes, I..."  
"You never mentioned you knew Sherlock Holmes?!"  
"I didn't think it was... important. I just work... kind of... for him. No biggie", she smiled sort of sadly.  
"Ooohh, I see."  
"What?” She laughed.  
"Nothing! D'you think I can go with you?"  
"Umm, sure. I suppose he wouldn't mind."  
So that afternoon I came back as a girl completely in love.  
"He's... older than you!"  
"So what? A girl can dream", I smiled.  
"You must be joking...” Molly said, sitting on the sofa, completely exhausted.  
"Oh, come on, you! What about yourself, eh?"  
"What about me?” Molly repeated.  
"You are SO into Sherlock. You're so obvious it hurts my eyes!"  
"That's... not true...” she looked at her feet smiling.  
"We should double-date sometime", I said convincingly.  
“Oh, please… Someone murder me.” She was smiling, though.  
With time I had grown closer to John, and by extension, to Sherlock, so it wasn’t too rare to find me having tea at their place. John would always tell me to bring Molly with me, but she was so shy she would always find an excuse not to go. So that was me, one of the boys.  
Sherlock one day realized I could be useful to the… partnership, so he started inviting me over to their cases. John would almost never agree to take me, but he had absolutely no word in it.  
I simply couldn't get to be alone with John for more than a few seconds, as Sherlock would always be around him, so it was impossible to get to talk about any personal business. I really wanted to know if he was single, or even fancied anyone, so I could make a move. We always had a good laugh together, but it would have been just so lovely to get to know each other away from Sherlock's world.  
Sherlock didn't like me too much to call me his friend, I was just a proper colleague and someone he would trust more every day, which was enough for me, to be honest.  
Mrs Hudson, their landlady, was like a grandma, I just loved her to death. And for sure she loved me back, as I would always help her with her dishes and cleaning.  
So of course Mrs H was my first shot at finding out a bit more about John, but she knew little, to my surprise. She just said John was a man who would never settle down, but did date lots of women.  
That wasn't too good, was it? Still, I wanted to have a go as soon as possible.


	3. An innuendo, maybe?

That had been the first time John and I were alone for more than a minute. Of course that was also the first time he hugged me, ever. So I was too excited to even remember why he hugged me in the first place.  
As soon as Mrs H let me in and I entered the boys' flat, I felt the need to call him. But I had made a decision just a few minutes ago: I was going to play a bit around it. If I really wanted John to like me, I was not going to look like a desperate child. So no calling. Not even texting.  
The Molly/Sherlock thing was also a growing conversational topic at home.  
"I wonder if he's noticed", I said to Molly later that evening.  
"I reckon he has. He’s Sherlock."  
"Are you EVER going to do something about it?"  
"I don't think so, really."  
"And why is that?"  
"This is silly. It doesn't matter, anyway. He never notices me at all."  
She suddenly looked very sad.  
"Sorry, but he's a prick."  
She looked at me.  
"Why? For not liking me?"  
"Well... Of course. But for not liking anyone. That's stupid. You shouldn't waste your fucking time."  
"I'm really not."  
"You just can't help it, can you?"  
She looked down and shook her head.  
"I understand..."  
"What about you and John?", she asked, suddenly cheerful again. "D'you reckon that's ever going to happen?"  
She had kind of accepted the pairing and, being the little girl she was, would always ask about my progress.  
Dunno... You know, we're just too busy following Sherlock everywhere to even have a relationship of our own."  
"You should just ask him out!"  
"No way in hell! He's the one to make the move."  
"Probably at least slide in a comment, an innuendo, maybe?"  
"I could... But I won't. I decided to play the tough girl, you see."  
"That hardly ever works", she informed me.  
"Oh, but it might! Today he was... well, he treated me differently. I never thought he cared so much. Turns out, he does."  
"John's a good man."  
"I know but...", I thought about it for a moment. "He hugged me?", I tried.  
"You were in shock and felt guilty. He's kind of your friend, so what else could he do?"  
Never thought Molly would be the logical girl in love matters so I panicked a bit.  
“You’re saying he doesn’t like me?”  
“I’m saying don’t mistake leads”, she said in a low voice and offered me a cuppa.  
“Thanks.” I took my mobile out of my blue jacket, no sign of John for the whole day. What the heck had happened?  
“You should just call him”, said Molly. She was looking at me with a light smile.  
“I thought the case was sorted already, where the hell are they?”  
“Maybe a new one showed up?”  
“Maybe…”  
I didn’t want to call him first. I knew it was childish but it was the only thing that came to mind. If that didn’t work? Well, I knew how to cook.  
We had pasta for dinner. I only ate one dish, though. Couldn’t stop thinking.  
“I’ll do the dishes, you just go and watch some telly, you need to get distracted”, my friend suggested.  
“Thanks…”  
“Thank you, it was delicious!”  
I think I smiled.  
Nothing interesting to watch. Crap telly, Sherlock called it. But when he said that he meant the whole of the television. Not a single show was good enough for him. John, on the other hand, watched a handful of shows and movies all the time.  
They were showing one of the Bond films he most liked. I think he happened to mention that the day we met. I remembered Sherlock complaining about John making him watch a few and I laughed out loud. Molly came to check. I told her it had been something on the telly, sadly not John.  
I was just too tired after such a long hectic day. My eyelids felt heavy.  
So I fell asleep.  
My dreams were a mix of Jason being murdered by James Bond and John kissing me. Quickly they morphed into John being murdered. I tried to scream my lungs out but nothing came out. Then it all went black and…  
I woke up and looked everywhere with desperation. It took me a few seconds to notice my mobile was ringing. I searched for it and held it in my hands until I was able to recognize the name.  
JOHN WATSON  
I answered nearly screaming.  
“John! John, hi!”  
“Emma, you okay?”  
“I’m fine, I’m… What about you? Haven’t heard from you… guys… since this morning. What happened?”  
“We’re good, we’re good. Just a new case that popped out right after Jason’s. Took a while but Sherlock figured it out, as usual.”  
A while?  
“Eight hours, John, you scared me to death.”  
I was still too sleepy to filter my own words so they just came out awkwardly and rushed. I thought John would laugh but he sounded very serious when he said:  
“I’m extremely sorry, Emma. I should have called you earlier…”  
“No. No, it’s fine. I could’ve called too…”  
“You’re very respectful, that’s all. Thanks for that.”  
Great excuse, then. If I’d have made any of their phones ring, they’d have been compromised. I was also suddenly glad for being such a child.  
John continued:  
“But you don’t have to hesitate if you need me… I mean, us. Okay?”  
I always caught it when he made that mistake and I have to admit it was the cutest thing ever.  
“I’ve been fine. Mrs H took care of my messy mind, you know just how lovely she is!”  
“Where are you now?”  
“Molly’s… Well, my flat, actually.” I laughed.  
“Oh, we’re about to get to Baker and I thought it was a good idea to take you out for dinner… You know, the three of us… Molly can come too, of course!”  
Kill me now.  
“Oh, no!”, probably shouldn’t have sounded so dramatic.  
“What is it?”  
“We already had dinner, I’m very sorry…”  
“Ohh! Right, I see… It’s alright, we can do it some other time.”  
“Of course.”  
I felt so relieved my dreams weren’t true and so sorry that I was turning his invitation down that God knows how I didn’t confess my feelings right there, being as sleepy as I was.  
“So…”  
“Yeah, thanks for calling, John.”  
“Right, no problem.”  
“Give my love to Sherlock, alright?”  
“Umm, I don’t think he would actually want it coming from me (or from anyone), so I’ll take my share only, if that’s okay… If… there’s any, of course”, he added hurriedly.  
I swear my heart melted.  
“Oh, we’ll see about that.”  
“How d’you mean?”  
I laughed.  
“Goodnight, John. See you guys tomorrow.”  
“Right… Night.”  
Molly was taking a shower at that moment so she didn’t hear me chuckle and jump all around the living room.


	4. Jam cupcakes

“I’m pretty sure he said he liked strawberry jam”, I said to Molly that Sunday morning.

“Right, so?”

“Oh, didn’t I mention? I’m planning on making him some cupcakes or something. Sometimes love enters the system through the stomach, you see.”

“He wanted to take you to dinner, it’s not like there’s no love at all there! Actually, he was probable about to use the same method.”

“Don’t be childish”, I told her and that felt stupid. “You were right; he was just worried about me.  But I need to start making some moves before he thinks it’s all friendship between us.”

“And these… cupcakes will do it, you say?”

“He probably won’t notice at first, but you’ll see.”

“Lovely to see you so determined”, my friend said, checking her emails.

I headed to the kitchen.

“D’we even _have_ strawberry jam?”

“Don’t think so”, she smiled.

“Okay, I’ll be back in five.”

“You’re really going to the grocery store? You?”

“I’m not putting on my coat just because it’s cold.”

“Wow, you must really fancy him.”

 

I didn’t like knocking. There’s was no particular reason, I just preferred texting him.

_KNOCK KNOCK –E_

_WHO’S THERE? –JW_

_COME AND SEE –E_

And that was our conversation every fucking time. He would come down the stairs, open the door and fake a huge surprise.

And so he did. I heard his footsteps coming down on the other side of the door and soon there he was. Messy hair and already dressed for the day, unlike Sherlock, who would not even care to take off his rope unless he had an amazingly interesting case going on.

He faked a surprise as usual and kissed my cheek without saying a thing. I blushed furiously and said good morning. He did the same. Then he wanted to know if I was okay, so did I. We were both okay. He told me to come in, but I said I had a _thing_ to do after and that I was just passing by to give him something.

He looked at the Tupperware.

“Did you… cook for me?”

“I love cooking and I realised I’d never prepared anything for you, guys, so… There you are.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Oh, please, don’t laugh!”

“Why would I laugh? This is the sweetest thing ever!”

“It’s… They’re… Umm, strawberry jam cupcakes.”

“Strawberry jam?”, he looked surprised.

“Well, I heard you say you like strawberry jam. Please don’t tell me you were joking or this will turn into the most awkward moment ever.”

He was looking at me with such a beautiful smile I felt dizzy.

“Thank you, I do. I absolutely _adore_ it.”

_And I you._

“Well, you don’t have to exaggerate.”

“Emma, you didn’t have to”, he said in a low voice.

“But I wanted to. You’re always too nice with me, John. This is nothing, really.”

“Thanks”, he repeated. “I…“, he looked troubled. “That thing you have to go to… Well…” he scratched his head. “It’s a shame you can’t postpone it.”

I blinked a couple times.

“I…” _Don_ _’_ _t_. “I could… well, that… depends.”

“On what?”

“On what you have in mind, of course”, I smiled.

He laughed.

“Well, I would love it if you could just come in.”

His eyes were the bluest I’d ever seen them when he said that. I pondered on it.

“Sure! If you’re really so scared these are poisoned… I could eat one too.”

He laughed again, louder this time, and with a hand gesture invited me in.

Sherlock was sitting on his armchair, hands together under his chin. His eyes were on me as soon as I entered the room and didn’t make any other movements apart from that, he just followed me until I sat on the couch and nodded at him.

“Sherlock.”

“Emma.”

John watched both of us a couple times before saying:

“Sherlock, Emma made cupcakes for me, so I invited her over for tea.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not like I’ve never been here.”

“I know, sorry. But I happened to forget he was about to get into his Mind Palace when you texted, so…”

“Yes, you happened to forget, John. Pretty believable.”

“I swear I did! I’m sorry, Sherlock.”

He finally took his eyes away from me and placed them on his friend. They went up and down on him a couple times very quickly. Sherlock sighed and exclaimed:

“Of course you did.”

John looked confused.

“I can go if you want me to”, I said. I knew that if that was really the case, Sherlock would not care to be polite and would just say so, but he shook his head.

“It’s okay, this is far more interesting.”

John and I looked at each other.

“What is?” John asked him.

“More interesting every second.”

“Don’t play mysterious with us, please. Give us a break. I’ll boil some water, Emma. Be right back.”

“Sure,” I smiled at him.

“And Sherlock”, he gave his friend a warning look.

Sherlock rolled his eyes.

“What’s the point, then?”

I just stayed there, looking at my own hands, wondering what could be so interesting to Sherlock, but the answer came on its own, given the fact that when I looked up again, the detective was looking at me once more.

“Do I suddenly look like a dead body or what?” I spat.

He raised one eyebrow.

“What’s so interesting?” I insisted.

“I can’t say anything. Nor will I.”

“Oh, fuck John. Come on.”

“Not interested in sex.”

I sighed. Was this going to take forever?

John was back probably too quickly, which apparently amused Sherlock.

“Here,” said John passing me a cuppa and a plate.

“Thank you,” I smiled.

“Oh, yes.”

“Sherlock.” Another warning look.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“I was thinking about the case.”

“If you really were, you wouldn’t even answer me.”

Sherlock changed position and sighed.

“You can go to your bedroom if you want, you know,” John said.

“You could too,” Sherlock answered and smiled mischievously at him.

“Sherlock, if you don’t shut your fucking mouth I’ll swear I’ll…”

He got up and faced Sherlock and I instinctively got up and stood in the middle of them, though I knew it wouldn’t have gone that far. Or would it?

“Oi, oi! Boys, calm down. I won’t be here for too long, anyway.” I said, raising both of my hands and looking at John with wide eyes. Then I couldn’t help but smile at him and say:

“What are you waiting for to taste my cupcakes, eh?”

He seemed to calm down a bit and went back to the couch, took one from the Tupperware and took a huge bite from it.

“Hmm, delicious!” he glanced up at me with a grin on his face, his eyes were gleaming. I would’ve just kissed him right there if Sherlock wouldn’t have been there, observing everything.

Or wouldn’t I?

“Glad to hear it.”

I sat next to him and just watched him eat the rest of the cupcake and take another one right away.

“Ha, you don’t need to eat them all right now!” I informed. He laughed with me.

“I know, it’s just that they taste amazing and I was very hungry.”

“We’d just had breakfast.” Sherlock attacked.

John gave Sherlock a piercing look.

“I was still hungry.”

“Great, then!” I deliberately showed indifference over that little fact. I didn’t care whether John was lying or not, anyway. He wanted to make me feel good.

“So how are you?” he wanted to know.

“Umm, fine, thanks. Not very much going on, really. What about you, guys?”

“We have a case going on! Interesting one.”

“You forgot to mention ‘pressing’. “ Sherlock pointed out rather sarcastically. John noticed this and gave him a bad look again.

“John and I discussed it and we’re not taking you this time.” Sherlock informed me. I looked at John inquisitively.

“We _didn_ _’_ _t._ But I agree, completely. Sorry.”

I snorted.

“It’s all right. You don’t want me to mess up things again, I understand.”

John looked alarmed and hurriedly said:

“That’s _not_ why!”

“ _Exactly_ ,” said Sherlock calmly at the same time.

“SHERLOCK.”

“All right!” I said, grabbing John’s arm, just in case. “It’s all right. I know the reason… _your_ reason.”

Sherlock jumped in: “John thinks it’s too dangerous.”

John seemed to agree this time. He looked at me rather sadly.

“I understand,” I said to him with a low voice, still grabbing his arm. He swallowed and I curved my lips in a light smile.

“Thank you.” He seemed relieved I hadn’t caused fuzz over it. It was important to avoid behaving like a child.

“You know, when I was younger I wrote an essay on the dangers of a crime scene. I would lend it to you but you may get a paper cut.”

“Well, that was extremely funny!” I pointed out, releasing John and getting up.

“I know,” he replied.

John was almost red with anger already. He followed me during the three steps I made towards the hall.

“Still interesting,” Sherlock whispered. But I think this time John didn’t catch it.

“I should be going now,” I said.

“Want me to go with you somewhere?” John suggested.

“No, I’m fine. I can survive a few blocks, I’m sure.”

He frowned; I was kinda making fun of his worrying about me.

“Sorry, I was joking.”

“Yeah…” He looked down and I died a bit inside. I didn’t even think about it, I just planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you for inviting me over.”

Was he blushing? Couldn’t tell, probably it was the anger.

He cleared his throat and asked:

“See you tomorrow?”

“Sure!”

“Good.” He was smiling now.

“Yeah.”

“Right.”

“Good God,” said Sherlock somewhere in the background as John followed me out of the flat.


	5. The best English man you could possibly date

“I would try to convince you but I think it’s a lost cause, am I wrong?” John said.  
“Pardon?”  
“I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight.”  
“WAKE UP; YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE!”  
“What?!”  
Well, fuck it.  
My dreams were getting too annoying. The thing is, I was starting to go to bed and think about John for at least a straight hour so my brain was taking its toll now. The main result, or the most unbearable at least, was that I just couldn’t tell the difference between dreams and reality. So for at least ten minutes I would be completely gleaming with joy because I was with John, and after I would fall completely into the arms of teenage depression.  
Molly was waiting for me in the kitchen, her breakfast already finished and mine starting to get cold.  
I gave her a small smile and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. The mirror returned the image of a very troubled girl. My bags were more noticeable each day and my long brown hair was a mess. I never really liked my nose so that one couldn’t get any worse. I wasn’t too skinny or too wavy, just extremely average and probably a little bit pathetic. I wondered what John thought of all that.  
“You’re not pathetic, what are you saying?! Stop bashing yourself like that! Any young boy would like someone as sweet as you!”  
Yes. That would so totally be his response. I would never ask, though.  
My thoughts diverged a bit to Sherlock’s response:  
“I never noticed.” He would notice John’s look, though, and he would quickly add: “Smashingly gorgeous.” A fake smile on his face.  
I laughed on the way to my bedroom. Put some clothes on and headed back to the kitchen where Molly was looking at her empty plate with her head on her hand.  
“Anything you’d like to share with your friend?” I caught her by surprise; she jumped a bit and replied:  
“No! Not really, no.”  
“Was Sherlock a big dick?”  
“Well…”  
“What am I saying? When is he not?” I got closer to her and waited.  
She smiled warily.  
“Same old, same old…”  
“Okay, he was a big dick.”  
“No need to call him that… He wasn’t… rude. He just didn’t appreciate me, I guess.”  
“You need to meet new people, Molly, I tell ya.” I went and put my plate in the microwave. My friend looked defeated. I wished there was a way to at least make Sherlock say he thought she was pretty, when of course he surely hadn’t noticed. But he would only fake things in case he would take some benefit from it.  
I suddenly realized I had never had that conversation with John, so I kinda had an idea.  
I picked my mobile phone and saw I already had a message from him.  
Good morning, love. Sherlock’s being a prick today so I thought we could hang out for a while. Fancy some lunch at Angelo’s? –JW  
The microwave started beeping but I didn’t really want my breakfast now.  
“Oh my, oh my.”  
“What?” Molly asked.  
“He… asked me out for lunch!”  
“Did he? That’s amazing!”  
I felt a bit embarrassed to have picked the nice guy when she had to suffer with the prick but still… I couldn’t keep it together.  
“What should I reply?”  
“You shouldn’t do it that quickly, first advice.”  
“Well, he sent this like an hour ago, just saw it.”  
“Okay, then say: ‘Great idea, see you there!” and he’ll surely want to come pick you.”  
“You say?”  
“Yup, that’s how it works. Usually. With nice men.”  
“Right…”  
He replied almost instantly, and as Molly had said, offered to meet me here in two hours.  
I literally ran all my way to the bathroom and had a shower, then put some old clothes on and called Molly to help me decide my outfit for the date.  
“Well, you look beautiful in every colour,” she smiled.  
“Bah, you’re being too nice. It’s not like I have many pieces of clothing so this shouldn’t take long.”  
I didn’t really want to ask Molly to borrow her clothes as our styles were quite different.  
“So, I’m thinking blue or purple. Never red.”  
“Of course,” said she. “You don’t want to look desperate for attention… I say purple.”  
“Purple’s great!”  
I didn’t get dressed until it was actually time he got to the flat. I was so nervous I would’ve left sweat stains and that was completely unacceptable.  
By twelve thirty my hair was already prepared and very awesome, I have to say. Molly was very good at that. I also was wearing a bit of make up so I was almost someone else.  
“I hope I don’t look too different, I don’t want him to think...”  
“Yes, you DO. Stop going all about it. He needs to see you’re somehow interested if you really want him to make a move. And to be honest, inviting you out today was quite a move.”  
“Yeah, I know. God…”  
“You look gorgeous!”  
“Thank you”, I hugged her.  
It was all so cheeky it could have been my wedding day for all I knew.  
The bell rang and I looked at my friend as if I was on my way to the electric chair. She chuckled a bit and pushed me to the door. I turned back to see her one last time and she gave me thumbs up.  
In that moment I swear I would have loved it to be a double date.  
I went down the stairs, opened the front door and there he was. My John.  
“Hello!” he said. It was windy so his hair was a mess, exactly the way I loved it.  
“Hi, John,” I replied. His eyes went straight to my skirt. I never wore them so that was new for him.  
“You look great!”  
“Thanks! You do too.”  
“Bah, I didn’t do much, to be honest. Even your hair looks amazing!”  
“So does yours,” I smiled.  
He returned the smile and offered a hand to come down the three steps.  
“I’m very accustomed to be the short one but let’s not force it, okay?”  
I laughed.  
We were close to Angelo’s but we didn’t want to rush things so we walked slow-paced down the street. The sun was starting to hide behind some clouds; apparently it was going to rain that day. I liked rain. I wondered if he did too.  
“Oh, yeah, absolutely. When I’m indoors, of course.”  
“Bet you want to try it out, though.”  
“What’s that?”  
“I bet,” I got closer to him with a teasing smile. “You would love to go out and sing in the rain and catch a cold and all that.”  
“Would you?” he wanted to know.  
“Love to.”  
He smiled widely.  
“Then I guess we should, sometime.”  
So then I knew he had the same feelings for rain as I did.  
Turns out he also preferred dogs over cats and The Beatles over The Rolling Stones. We talked about how Abbey Road was the best album by the Fab Four and he even sang a bit of “Golden Slumbers”, our favourite song. I told him I was too shy to sing at the moment, but maybe if I drank a bit I would sing the whole album for him, so he took note and set our next date for the following Saturday, a playful smile on his lips.  
I pondered on that for a while as we crossed our last street to get to the restaurant.  
“So you say this would be like a date?”  
John looked introverted for a second as he scratched his head.  
“Could be… If you want.”  
“Sure, that’s all right.”  
He now seemed puzzled. I quickly added:  
“I mean… That’s awesome.”  
He finally smirked at me and with a hand gesture, he made me enter first.  
I realized how much had happened before we even got to Angelo’s and I smiled to myself.  
“What is it?” John asked, smiling a bit himself as we picked a table and took a seat.  
Quickly, come on.  
“Umm…”  
He raised his eyebrows.  
“I just pictured Sherlock in this very situation. You know, having a date.”  
“Oh, right. Yeah…”  
He frowned and cleared his throat.  
“He… Well, he doesn’t do this, you know.”  
“I know he doesn’t, which is a real shame.”  
John took a deep breath and narrowed his blue eyes. I wondered what was crossing his mind at the moment but preferred not to ask.  
“What about Molly?” he said in a low voice.  
“Molly’s all right.”  
“I mean, does she have anything going on?”  
“Umm… Nope. Not really. I thought you would know.”  
“Pardon?”  
“Well, you and Sherlock see her almost every day so if she had something, Sherlock would’ve picked up on it.”  
“Yeah, right.”  
“And probably also tell her how he’s noticed and make her upset because he’s an idiot.” I giggled.  
John seemed to lose his cool again and called the waiter without giving me any reply.  
Angelo himself was the one to come to us and said:  
“John Watson! Always welcome, always welcome.”  
I was completely sure this wasn’t the first time Angelo had John eating at his restaurant with a woman.  
“So what’s the young beauty’s name?” Angelo asked, looking at me with a huge grin.  
“Umm, Emma.”  
“Pleasure to meet you, Emma. This man right ‘ere is the best English man you could possibly date! Good man, John Watson.”  
John smiled awkwardly and looked at our table, eyes anywhere but on mine.  
We ordered our food and as soon as Angelo walked away, John was able to look at me again.  
“Sorry about that”, he said. “He tends to be very effusive…”  
“Oh, don’t mention it! This place actually feels very cozy and warm… Love it.” I smiled.  
“It is, yeah.”  
For some reason we didn’t talk much until our food arrived.  
John was the one to break silence after five minutes of nothing.  
“We never got to actually talk about our… you know, personal business.”  
His words caught me off guard.  
“Well… I’m not sure how important that is, to be honest.”  
“Right! No, I mean… Only if you’re willing to tell.”  
He was suddenly very nervous.  
I left the fork on the plate and cleaned my mouth with the napkin. His eyes were once more anywhere else but on me.  
I sighed.  
“Umm… well, I had a total of… one boyfriend? That was a long time ago. You don’t need to know his name, I suppose. Or where he lived or what he did and does now… I don’t actually know that last thing. We lost contact. I don’t even know if he’s alive, really.” I added as I took a sip off my glass.  
“What happened?” John spat.  
“He one day said we were very different and that he didn’t have the time. You know the crap boys come up with.” I smiled sadly. He frowned.  
“I think… he’s a twat.”  
I laughed.  
“I’m sorry, none of my business.”  
“But you’re oh so very bloody right!”  
He smiled at me and continued:  
“I just can’t think of a bloody reason a bloke would dump you, that’s all.”  
My heart skipped a beat. I’m sure I blushed furiously and possibly disappeared in the red curtains.  
“Please…” I laughed. “You think?”  
“Of course! Look at you! You… You…”  
“I…”  
“Who wouldn’t want to be with a woman like you? Come on…”  
I couldn’t believe my ears. Had he said woman? Not girl?  
I tried to keep my cool.  
“You’re too kind. But I can be very troubled and stupid.”  
He looked estranged.  
“You don’t seem any of that,” he said in a low voice.  
“Ha… Thanks. I mean, I have a messy mind.”  
“Don’t we all?” he smiled.  
I got scared. He was being probably too nice.  
“John…”  
“Look, you won’t come up with anything that scares me away. Remember who I live with.”  
I laughed again.  
“Sure, okay…”  
I couldn’t finish my plate now.  
“What about you?”  
“Me?” he pointed at himself and sighed, looking away with a funny face. “I… probably don’t have the best of criminal records myself.”  
I decided to be honest with him: “Mrs Hudson… she told me a few things…”  
“Oh, did she? Yeah, she does that. Well, I’m sorry you know about my pathetic love-life. I can’t seem to settle down. Not living with Sherlock.”  
“That’s somehow understandable. But you should live your own life, you know. You can’t let him rule it like that.”  
“Life without Sherlock is unimaginable now, I’m afraid.” He said this very softly, as if he was ashamed of saying it.  
“You could move out and still go and help him with cases, I think?”  
“I suppose, yeah…”  
“You don’t sound too convinced” I smiled. He did too, sadly. “Are you really giving up on your life just because you don’t want to leave him? Come on, John. You can still find a good adventure in a good woman, a good job and… I don’t know, children?”  
“I wish I could afford to think like that.”  
I sighed and he looked at me, defeated.  
“I’m no boyfriend material.”  
I took my time to come up with a clever response.  
“Look… You won’t come up with anything that scares me away.”  
He first looked surprised and confused. Then, he started laughing.  
“Oh, Emma. You overestimate me.”  
“D’you find that annoying?”  
“No… It’s not that.” He was frowning again, like having an inner battle.  
I decided not to speak until he did. When that finally happened, his voice trembled.  
“We should ask for the bill. Don’t worry, I’ll pay.”  
But I hadn’t even reached for my purse; he had caught me off guard.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Me?” He asked probably a bit too loud. “Yes, I’m okay- Thanks.”  
He paid and he was soon on his feet and walking outside. I followed him out running, still confused.  
“Oi, John!”  
He turned to me as soon as he got to the street.  
“Come on, I’ll walk you home.”  
And so he did. We walked in silence. I was freaking out. But what could I say?  
When we arrived back to my flat, he simply cleared his throat, eyes on the floor. I grabbed him by the neck, kissed his cheek and gave him a hug, which he broke almost instantly.  
“It was lovely, Emma. Thank you.” He said, still not looking at me.  
“Thank you.” I replied.  
He almost smiled and started to walk away. Things weren’t okay.  
I almost had to climb up the three steps, my legs felt heavy and I felt like crying.  
Molly got up the couch as soon as I opened the door, a huge grin on her face.  
“So?”  
But she dropped it as soon as she saw my face.  
“What is it? What?”  
I told her everything. Start to finish.  
“Oh, well… He probably over reacted but the reason is pretty clear.”  
“Oh, thank God you know this stuff.”  
“He… Doesn’t feel like it’s going to work.”  
“How can he?!” I almost shouted. “I was throwing myself at him with every sentence! It cannot not be obvious.”  
“It’s not that. He surely sees that, but he doesn’t think he deserves you. He probably thinks you’re serious business.”  
That kept me in my place. I breathed heavily and sat on a chair, confused.  
“But… I… I have to talk to him. Tell me I don’t care?”  
“He wouldn’t mind you caring. It’s his choice. I’m sorry…”  
“What? Are you giving up too?” My eyes were open so wide they could have fallen out.  
“I’m saying he’s a grown up, Emma. You shouldn’t bother bouncing around him until he changes his mind. Let him decide for himself.”  
“But…!”  
“Also, look at it properly. What if he’s right?”  
“No, Molly. Wait. I can’t believe you’re not encouraging me to keep going, I mean…” I moved my hands in the air trying to find the right words. “What about you and Sherlock?”  
“That’s different. I’m not expecting anything to happen.”  
“Yes, you are! I know how it feels. You love someone and you know it will never happen, but you still hope he’ll make a move every time you see him.”  
“Well, I’m hoping you don’t make the same mistakes I make. You’re smarter.”  
“Ugh…” I got up and went straight to take a shower.  
I wasn’t smarter. Not a bit. I was immature and selfish and everything different from what John needed. And for some reason he seemed to see me in a complete different way, he seemed to like me. But his self-esteem was getting in the way. I had got what I wanted, I had dated him and he had shown interest, but I could do nothing with it. Things could go nowhere. I was back to square one in the very same day.


	6. Nice move, sleuth

I picked up my phone as soon as I came out of the bathroom.

_HOW IS HE? - E_

Sherlock replied almost instantly.

_Absentminded. He didn’t notice the body on the kitchen table. – SH_

I sighed. A new text came right below.

_I take it things didn’t go as planned. – SH_

_You’re right. He suddenly took off. Would you please find out something? Just take a good look; you don’t need to talk to him. – E_

This time ten minutes passed before Sherlock replied. I was already dressed up when I read it.

_You should pay us a visit. – SH_

That took me by surprise. I hesitated.

_Emma, please. – SH_

_I don’t think I can handle it, Emma – SH_

I growled.

_Fine, I’ll be there in twenty. – E_

_Make it ten. – SH_

_Oh, and bring some test tubes. – SH_

I told Molly I was out to the grocery store and left like a thunder with some test tubes in my purse. Seeing John so soon after what had happened didn’t seem like a good idea, but Sherlock’s urgency tone had me anxious.

When I found myself at Baker Street I noticed the curtains on 221b were closed. I pondered on that.

I felt my mobile phone vibrate on my pocket as I noticed some dark clouds were beginning to appear in the afternoon sky.

_Door’s open. – SH_

Doubtful, I made my way into and up the boy’s. No taking back now, I was in.

Sherlock made his way to me as soon as he saw me, a kind of a fake grin on his face.

“Emma! How are things?”

“Umm, things are fine, Sherlock. Thanks.”

I dared to look around. John wasn’t there.

Sherlock gave me a concerned look. Was he trying to say something?

“Uhh, I… brought what you asked?”

“Excellent! Thank you. I’m sorry to hear Molly’s sick.” He said, extremely well-acted but probably a bit too loud, and he took the tubes from my shaky hands.

I heard noises coming from upstairs.

John was behind me when I turned around, and he looked like shit.

I gave him a light smile and turned back to Sherlock, who went to the kitchen without any other words, leaving us alone in the most awkward way possible.

I had no other choice than to face John again. His eyes were different.

“Molly’s sick?” he asked.

“Umm, yes. She caught the flu.”

“She looked perfectly alright this morning.”

_Play along, Jesus Christ._

“Well, you know how it is.”

And he did, he was a doctor. So he knew very well you don’t succumb to the flu from one minute to another. Still, he dropped the argument and started nodding.

“Well, give her my love.”

_No, I bloody won_ _’_ _t._

“Sure.”

“I’m sorry you had to come all this way to serve Sherlock. Do you want something to drink? Eat? Anything?”

“Nope, I’m alright. Thanks. And it is really no problem.” I smiled to Sherlock, who smiled back from the kitchen.

Then I looked back to John, he seemed annoyed. Just like the day I gave him the cupcakes and Sherlock kept making irritating remarks.

“Cool.” He said without looking at me.

He seemed made of stone. I couldn’t dare to even touch him. It all appeared to be a lost cause, and right when I decided it was time to leave, Sherlock said:

“On my laptop.”

“Sorry, what?” I said, but still got his message. My eyes went to the laptop resting on the messy table right next to us. There were two pieces of paper. I took one. It looked very cheesy, with flowers and cursive writing. “A ball?” I said after reading the two paragraphs quickly.

John leaned to read too.

Sherlock walked towards us with a stupid smile.

“Lestrade said I had to go if I wanted the three sisters case.”

“The what?”

“You don’t need to know about that.” He looked at John, who was looking at me with apprehension.

“So… That’s awesome. Have fun?”

“I have to take a date.” Sherlock informed, his eyes still on John’s head. Now John looked back at him in disbelief. I panicked.

“Then Molly’s your girl!” I almost shouted, pathetically.

Sherlock made a face.

“I thought you would be a rather more suitable option.”

John was going red and Sherlock smiled mischievously as soon as his friend took his eyes back to me.

I had the next move.

“Umm…” John was breathing heavily through his nose, and his eyes were digging holes in my brain. “Sorry, Sherlock. I couldn’t do this to Molly. You have to take her.” I said.

Sherlock faked disappointment.

“Alright, then. There’s two of these, FYI.”

John seemed to come back to reality and looked at Sherlock, who was holding an exact replica of the paper in my hands.

“I’d be lost without my blogger.” He gave his friend a toying smile. “And I couldn’t take you as a date, according to Lestrade.”

I snorted. Who would’ve thought this man was smart even for love matters?

“So…” I started.

“So John shall be taking you as his date, instead. If that’s alright.”

He couldn’t say no, could he?

His response came probably a bit too late for my nerves to handle it.

“Sure.” The doctor finally said, defeated.

“Great! Now, we won’t be keeping Emma much longer as she has to take care of Molly Hooper, am I wrong?” He raised his eyebrows.

I blinked a couple times.

“Right! Yes. I should go back now. See you…” I checked the invitation again. “… next Saturday, then?”

“Precisely.” Sherlock replied.

“See you then, John.” I said, touching his forearm gently. He finally gave me a smile and said a low “see you” just before Sherlock made a hand movement indicating he was to be the one to escort me out.

When we got to the street, I stood on tiptoes so that my face and Sherlock’s were aligned.

“Nice move, sleuth.” I beamed and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He looked puzzled for a moment as I went back to being a head shorter than him. Then he smiled.

“Any time. It’s just _so boring_ when he doesn’t get angry at me.” He said, going back inside and closing the door.


	7. Is that gel on your hair?

An entire week went by and John and I didn’t exchange a word by text. Funnily enough, on the other hand, my communication with Sherlock had grown more and more regular. He would update me on John’s mood every day, and I would repay him by emailing him puzzles and riddles now that he didn’t have a case going on. We both were looking forward to the ball for our very own reasons; Sherlock needed the so-called “Three Sisters case” and I needed to put things in order with John.  
I hadn’t told Molly about the scene that had played out at Baker St mainly because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but also because she would’ve started to see me differently, as a kind of rival, and that was ridiculous. Oh, and of course there was the fact that any of what took place was actually real, but a scene to get John’s jealousy out of the bag. Had it worked? It looked like it. I just couldn’t get the image of John’s shocked face out of my head. How could he even think I would’ve said yes to Sherlock’s invitation? He knew about Molly’s feelings for his friend, and he knew very well I was intimate with her, so despite the fact that we had never really talked about it, he just had to know I would be aware of the matter, so there was simply no way I would’ve done that to her. Also, me? Liking Sherlock? Nonsense.  
But still, he looked horrified for a second. And that had me thinking for a week.  
On Friday night I took Molly out for a drink in the hope she would feel more confident talking about things and all. Sherlock had pulled out the proposal for her to be his plus one in a slightly convincing way which had her amused and disbelieving for a second, but as soon as she took a look at me she understood it was no joke and went completely red, saying something that sounded like “yes, sure” while looking at her feet. I looked at John and he was already looking at me with a complicit smile. Then he winked at me and chuckled.  
But that was all the contact we had had all week.  
On Saturday evening I was dressed up more than dressed given how different I looked style-wise. Molly had been exceptionally awesome with my hair and make-up and by seven we were both ready to kill, or at least I hoped so.  
I was expecting John to be as sweet as always despite our lack of recent touch, I hadn’t done anything bad after all.  
I got a text from Sherlock ten minutes later:  
 _HE THINKS I’M TEXTING LESTRADE, BE YOUR MOST READY IN HALF AN HOUR – SH_  
I wondered why it was important to pretend he wasn’t texting me, but still made no questions.  
Another message came right below:  
 _HE JUST SPENT HALF AN HOUR CHOOSING HIS HAIR STYLE – SH_  
I smiled.  
 _What is he wearing? – E_  
 _A SUIT – SH_  
Sherlock’s reply was obvious, I knew I had asked something stupid but I related my fail to my wanting to see John badly. I contained myself from asking for a picture.  
Molly spoke from behind me and I jumped.  
“Are you and John talking again?”, she asked excited. She was wearing her shiniest red lipstick and looked extremely gorgeous. If only Sherlock would notice that.  
“Umm… Actually I… I just texted Sherlock to know what he was wearing.”  
I really didn’t want to tell her he had texted me instead of her.  
“Oh, alright. I’m almost positive he’s wearing a suit.”  
“Ha bloody ha. Can’t wait to see him.”  
“Sure he feels the same way. What time are they coming?”  
“Thirty minutes.”  
“It feels weird, doesn’t it? This is like a date!” She bit her lower lip.  
“You should totally make a move on Sherlock tonight, just saying.”  
“What? A move?” she blushed.  
“We should make a deal. I’ll make a move on John if I see you make a move on Sherlock first.”  
“That’s not fair! You don’t even need to make a move with John Watson. Just wink at him and you’ll be in his bed!”  
“EXCUSE ME?” I bellowed.  
“It’s no secret he’s a womanizer.”  
“You’re underestimating my efforts, girl! Take that back!”  
“No way!” she smiled. I ran to her and took the pin from her hair. She looked horrified.  
“YOU DID NOT, EMMA!” She then grabbed my arm, pulled me close and took the pin from mine. My perfect pulled up hair fell down heavily, all curled up, on my shoulders.  
“Oh, come on!!”  
The bell rang and we both looked at the door, then at each other. THEY WERE HERE ALREADY?!  
“Oh, my God. He didn’t.”  
Turns up Sherlock had lied about the time. Why would he do that?  
I went down the stair with a sigh as I received a text.  
 _HE WANTED TO COME ALREADY AND I COULDN’T ACTUALLY TELL HIM I HAD ALREADY PACTED A TIME WITH YOU, SORRY. I HOPE YOU’RE NOT NAKED OR SOMETHING – SH_  
I got to the door but replied first.  
 _I’m only wearing a tank top and a pair or tiny shorts – E_  
When I finally opened the door, Sherlock was facing the street and John looked funnily puzzled.  
I laughed out loud, confusing him even more.  
“Oh, Sherlock, I was only joking.”  
“About what? What’s going on?” asked John. He was indeed wearing a suit and his hair was combed to the extreme. He even looked like he had put some gel on it. I couldn’t help but stare for too long at his head, which made him raise a hand to distractingly touch it.  
Sherlock turned around and sighed.  
“Nothing”, I replied, hesitantly. “I… you look good, guys.”  
“Cheers”, said John with a light smile, but still a bit taciturn. “You too.”  
“Thanks. Umm… Molly’s still with her hair and I s’ppose I should be getting to it. So if you want to come upstairs…”  
They both replied at the same time.  
“It’s alright…”  
“Sure!” John gave Sherlock a look. “She didn’t say they still needed to get dressed, so why not?”  
“Right. Okay”, said John finally. “If it’s not a problem.”  
“Course not. Come on in.”  
We went upstairs in silence. I could feel John staring at me the whole time. He coughed a few times before we made our awkward entrance to Molly’s flat.  
“Oh, hello!” said she. Her hair was already pulled up again.  
I gave Sherlock a look hoping with all my heart he would understand.  
“Right! Umm… you look fantastic, Molly.”  
“Thanks, Sherlock.” She blushed furiously and some pins she was holding fell from her hands. I rushed to pick them up but Sherlock beat me to it.  
“There you go”, he said, passing them to her. He was also very smart-looking, with a bowtie and round golden cuffs. When I looked right to see John, he was giving me the deadliest look. I tried to return a smile but my lips refused to form one. I simply looked back at Sherlock and said:  
“Is Greg aware of any attempts of robbery slash hostage-taking slash fire-setting due tonight at the very ball?”  
Sherlock looked amused. John coughed again.  
“Nothing he informed me about. In any case he wouldn’t be the exact person to have that information before-hand. Or anyone. Except maybe me.” He gave me a killer smile and I laughed.  
Molly looked down and John moved slightly to the door.  
“If everyone’s ready we should get going”, he said, looking at a point to his right.  
Sherlock replied with a calmed tone: “I thought Emma was about to do her hair?”  
“Oh”. I had completely forgotten about my hair.  
John looked at me and said:  
“Her hair looks just as beautiful as the rest of her. Let’s go!”  
My heart skipped a beat. Just with that he left the room. I looked at Sherlock and Molly and they were both gleaming. Sherlock gestured me to go after John and so I did. I grabbed my purse and ran downstairs. When I got to the street John was already calling a cab with his arm. It was dead cold outside but I didn’t notice at that moment. I was blushing too hard to even feel it.  
An empty cab finally stopped before us and John opened the door for me.  
“Thank you”, I said and smiled at him for probably too long. I kept staring at him while entering the car and he followed me inside forgetting to also be a gentleman with Molly, who had just appeared behind him. Our eyes didn’t break contact until Sherlock was in the car and closed the door after he entered.  
“11-13 Earl’s Court Avenue, please”, he told the cabbie.  
We took off and John’s eyes were on me again. I dared to look at him and had to make a light move to find a bit more space between us, since I hadn’t notice how close we were when we entered, clearly hypnotized by him. My movement caused my hand to touch his which was resting on his leg, covered in leathered gloves. His hand twitched a bit, but he didn’t move it away. I grabbed it and said:  
“Is it… warm? I mean, with this on?”  
I was staring at both our hands but he kept staring at me.  
“It is… hot. Warm”, he added hurriedly. “Want to try them on?”  
“It’s alright”, I replied. “I believe you.”  
I looked into his eyes again. The bluest ever. I felt he closed his hand around mine and I forgot to breathe for a second. He sighed long and soundly and very slowly caressed my hand.  
There was no apparent reason for us to be this close and for him to be touching me like that, since not only had we never properly flirted with each other but also we were supposed to not be talking much after our failed lunch together. But it didn’t matter at the moment. It all seemed very natural for some reason. Maybe because it actually was. We were both naturally fond of each other. I wanted to believe his fondness was more than friendly, but was terrified to ask, also the fact that Molly and Sherlock were there complicated things a bit. But John seemingly didn’t give a shit about that sort of demonstration of affection in front of them.  
I was a bit nervous but decided to act as naturally as him. I smiled at him and asked:  
“Is that gel on your hair?”  
He blinked a couple times.  
“Does it look ridiculous?”  
“Not the word I’d use”, I responded.  
“Then?” he demanded to know with a low voice, his hand still caressing mine.  
“It doesn’t really suit you.”  
“Oh.”  
“I thought we had already had this conversation, John.”  
He gave me a comical smile, eyebrows up.  
I sighed, pretending to look offended.  
“Your hair looks better when it’s messy.”  
“Yeah, you told me that, didn’t you?”  
It felt a bit awkward since that was the day of the lunch date, but he kept his cool and continued:  
“It’s not actually gel, I just wet it.”  
“Ah, that’s better. So there’s a way to sort it out, then.”  
Now he pretended to look offended.  
“Does it really badly desperately need solving?”  
“I can help you out with that”, I suggested.  
He stopped caressing my hand and gave me a mischievous smile.  
“Then sort it out.”  
“With your permission, sir.”  
“Be my guest.”  
I messed his hair up with my free hand since he wouldn’t let go of the other one. I gave it a few final touches so he wouldn’t look like a hobo, and there he was. My John. Looking as sharp as ever.  
“There.”  
“Cheers”, he laughed.  
Somewhere in the distance I would swear I heard Sherlock say “Won’t take much longer now”. Molly laughed timidly and John didn’t seem to even hear a thing.  
Shortly we hit out destination and Sherlock paid the cabbie before thanking him and escorting Molly out of the car. John pulled me out by the hand he was holding and I was the one to close the door once we were all out. The doctor and I stood before the building holding hands. It was a big old mansion in the middle of a crowded lively street which didn’t look old at all, lights everywhere, people of all kinds climbing up and down the staircase on the entrance, women dressed to kill and men just as sharp as my friends. The air smelled of party and was filled with loud chatter and laughter.  
This brief distraction had brought me to the realization that I was freezing cold, so I started to shiver a bit. John quickly noticed and asked:  
“Haven’t you brought your coat? Or is it in the cab? We sure can find it; Sherlock will surely remember the plate.”  
I was too embarrassed to admit it but… “I left it in the flat.”  
John shook his head rapidly and let go of my hand to remove his suit jacket.  
“John, it’s alright, really!” I panicked, but he was already putting it around my shoulders. “You didn’t have to.” He stroked my arms and back a few times but I was already warm enough after the first.  
Sherlock and Molly were nowhere to be found when I looked around.  
“We should go inside?”  
“Yup.”  
John put a hand around my waist and we went up the stairs. Some people around us seemed to recognize John from the news and papers, which made things a bit awkward for me, while he looked immune to the excessive amount of attention we were getting. At one point almost at the top of the stairs I saw a flash hit us so I grabbed John’s hand and completed our journey inside the house in a heartbeat, which apparently amused him.  
Greg Lestrade was at the front door having a heated conversation with Sherlock about how he couldn’t give any details on the case just as yet.  
“And definitely not in front of all these people!”  
“Oh, come on, Gilderoy, these individuals you call people couldn’t care less about us. They just came here to get drunk and find someone to have an intercourse with.”  
“Well, in out popularity’s defense, mate, me and Emma just got our asses flashed out while walking up the stairs.”  
Molly, who was next to Sherlock with no success in being noticed, seemed to light up a bit and gave me a dissimulated thumb up and a wink. I shook my head negatively but smiling.  
“You too are no different from all these so don’t feel too special, anyway”, Sherlock replied coldly.  
I pondered on what he meant and felt probably too hot under John’s jacket.  
John, on the other hand, gave his colleague a deadly smile.  
“Hi, Greg. Come on, Emma. Let’s grab ourselves something to drink.”  
He lead me away from the rest and we clearly heard Sherlock shout “Exactly!” once we hit the drinks bar.  
The place was extremely crowded. I wondered how many of those people were actually there for business with the landlord, if any at all. It was probably only Sherlock, and not even directly, but with Greg about the Three Sisters case.  
“He didn’t bring a date, did he?”  
“Hmm?” replied John, who was eyeing me laying with his back on the table.  
“Greg, I mean. He came alone.”  
“Ah, yes. His wife and him is ancient history.”  
“I know that, but I mean… No girlfriend, mistress… Anything?”  
“Don’t think so. Not that he’s told me about. Not really lucky in that area, apparently. By the way, mistress?”  
“Yeah, what’s so funny about it?”  
“Nothing. Maybe just the fact that nobody really uses that word anymore.” He looked beautifully amused.  
“I must have heard Sherlock use it and added it to my Emma Dictionary.”  
John’s face dropped and he turned his back to me to grab a drink.  
“The what?” I said. “Emma, you’re nuts. Yeah, I know. Ha… John?”  
He drank a whole glass of beer before I even finished saying all that, and he straightaway served himself with new glass.  
A woman with short brown hair was staring at him from the other side of the table. I didn’t dare to touch him, he looked badly pissed off.  
I took a deep breath and called his name again.  
He calmly turned to face me and his voice busted through the loud music and the annoying chatter:  
“What’s with you and Sherlock?”


	8. Always a gentleman, John Watson

“What?”  
“You and Sherlock. You keep talking about him, what is all that crap?”  
“Sorry, Emma lost.”  
My poor heart was already racing.  
He sighed loudly and carried on talking.  
“I don’t know what else is left to explain. You like him, don’t you?”  
I couldn’t believe my ears. He was shouting at this point.  
“I’ve noticed how you stare at him and how you smile at him… You don’t fool me!”  
“Him?!” I was shouting too. “I stare at him?! How can you…? You really think I fancy Sherlock Holmes?”  
He laughed out loud.  
“You’re embarrassed, maybe? ‘Cause you know how impossible it is what you want? Let me tell you some tiny thing. It might even help you out. IT IS. It’s impossible!”  
“What are you talking about?!” A few heads started to turn to look.  
John’s eyes were the proof that he was going mad. Alcohol wasn’t helping him.  
“John, you’re being ridiculous…”  
“Yeah, that’s who I am. The ridiculous John Watson, the second one. You would be surprised to know how many of the girls I went out with didn’t end it because I was a jerk… And Sherlock doesn’t even know what he does to women.”  
For some reason what I took from that was how he compared me with the women he had dated. Was it possible he was jealous? Was it possible John liked me?  
“John, I DON’T like Sherlock. How many times…?!”  
I tried to pull my most dramatic face since I wanted the point to be finally made, but I couldn’t help smiling in the face of all the drama he was causing about it.  
“It’s a bit hard to believe, to be honest”, he added, now lowering his voice a bit.  
“Oh, my God!! How can it be him? For real, mate. It was YOU I brought the jam cupcakes to!”  
“Well, that was probably a way of getting closer to Sherlock”, he attacked with a smile.  
“How can you think that before thinking I might actually like you? It’s insane!”  
He froze for a second.  
“Is that the case?” he wanted to know, eyebrows up.  
“Uh?”  
“You like me?” he said with a laughter.  
“Extremely funny idea, apparently.”  
His eyes seemed to focus on mine as if he was mining my thoughts.  
“You do?” the doctor said.  
“I...” What could I say? If he didn’t like me back it would be an extremely awkward moment. But if he did, it was probably the only way of getting him to say it right there. I closed my eyes and John was gone. “Yeah.”  
There. It was out.  
All I could hear was the chatter and the music; John’s voice was nowhere to be heard. I opened one eye, then the other. John Watson was still standing in front of me, but his expression was that of a non-believer. He blinked a couple times and opened and closed his mouth another few. He was speechless.  
I gave him an inquisitive look.  
“You okay?”  
When he finally spoke, his voice sounded weak.  
“Yeah?” he quoted me, startled. He was breathing deep and soundly, and so was I. I wasn’t quite sure if his reaction was positive or not, still.  
“I can’t believe you thought it was Sherlock, for fuck’s sake.” I laughed, but he didn’t join me. He was still dazed.  
“Bloody fuck”, he went. “I’m sorry, Emma. For everything I said. I feel… I feel…”  
“It’s alright, John.”  
But he carried on:  
“I feel like the most imbecile prick in the fucking universe.”  
“Don’t be so harsh on yourself.” I bit my lower lip. I still didn’t know.  
He looked miserable. I took his jacket off my shoulders; I definitely wasn’t cold anymore. I handed it back to him and I realized that he might misjudge that gesture, but it was too late.  
“Emma, wait!” he came a step closer, but I wasn’t going anywhere. “Please… forgive me…”  
“John, I already told you it’s alright. You thought wrong, but now you know how things are.” I half smiled to him and he let out another big sigh, taking his jacket back. He grabbed my hand by accident but he didn’t let go of it so fast. When he finally did, I gave him yet another big smile and said:  
“We should dance, what d’you say?”  
John’s mind seemed to still be working hard to process my words, but he replied with an energetic “Sure!” and put his jacket on.  
We mingled ourselves into the big mass of dancing sweaty people, where of course we wouldn’t find Sherlock or Molly. We did find Greg, who was chatting with a black lady with a huge hat. He noticed us and gave us a sadly very obvious wink. But it shouldn’t have been embarrassing, right? John already knew what I felt about him, it was all out there. I felt my body a bit lighter. I somehow didn’t mind John’s reply to my feelings, I was happy to have let him know.  
I started a ridiculous dance on purpose and gestured John to come even more to the center of the aforementioned mass. He gave me his most beautiful laughter and followed me until we were right in the middle, then I grabbed his hands and proceeded to move them up and down, back and forth, pulling the most stupid faces at him until he was cracking up. I could hear his laughter even with all that noise and it was even catchier than the dance music they were playing. Just captivating. I could hear it all day non-stop. I was just so in love with this man.  
Then something unexpected happened, John leaned in to me slowly and kissed my cheek. The kiss lasted more Mississippi’s that it probably should have and when he finally broke it, he did it exceptionally softly, right before he placed another one more to the left, and another one… Then he kissed me inches from my mouth, and that’s where I completely lost it. I grabbed him by his collar and planted a kiss on his cheek.  
You’re not going to be the only one playing this game, you tease.  
My hands went up his collar and I ended up surrounding his neck with my arms, leaving our faces very close to each other. His eyes went straight to my cleavage.  
“Eyes front, soldier… Never better used”, I said.  
“You’re not being fair”, John claimed, tilting his head to the left and narrowing his eyes.  
The music hit a high point and it was suddenly replaced by a ballad. Pretty bad timing as things were getting pretty hot, instead of romantic.  
“My dancing knowledge tells me we’re in the right position to dance to this”, I informed him.  
“And my knowledge of myself tells me it’s not a safe position for you to be in”, he replied with a teasing smile. “I’m kindly passing that information to you so you don’t complain later.”  
Was he flirting with me? Oh, fuck it.  
“Are you flirting with me?”  
“Would you like that?”  
“Very much so…”  
“Then I’m flirting with you.” His eyes were fixed on mine like glue. “How would you like me to tell you you look fantastic in this dress?”  
“I’m flattered”, I smiled.  
“Just that?” He made a very well then face. “What about You always look beautiful anyway?”  
“You’re making me blush.”  
John smiled and let out a sigh.  
“You’re beautiful?”  
“Thank you”, I chuckled.  
“What’s so bloody funny?”  
“Are you trying to get some kind of reaction out of me or do you really think all those things?”  
He went serious for a moment.  
“What do you think?”  
“Could be both”, I suggested.  
“It is both”, he still wasn’t smiling. “I think you’re gorgeous. And I’m not saying all this because I drank three fucking glasses of beer in a row. I’m saying all this because that’s what I think, that’s what I’ve always thought. It just took me a few glasses of beer to say it to your face.”  
I went blank. The music was so cheesy and the mood of the whole room had changed accordingly, but we weren’t moving. We were just holding each other, me by the neck and him by the waist.  
I hugged him out of plain embarrassment since I was blushing like a tomato. His hands went up and down my back slowly as he whispered to my ear: “I would like to kiss you now.” His voice came out almost as a purr, which made me shiver from head to toes. I somehow dared to speak.  
“Always a gentleman, John Watson. Just do it.”  
John didn’t hesitate for a second. He took my arms and separated them from his neck, straightaway took my face and kissed me full on the mouth. I almost melted at the soft touch of his lips. He took over my lower lip and sucked it, even bit it softly, driving me up the moon. I responded by taking away his hands and sinking my fingers in his blonde messy hair, pulling him even closer. Our bodies were touching now.  
He growled and grabbed my waist, now pulling me closer to him with ownership. My belly was tight close to his now and the kisses were growing more and more intense. I wasn’t even paying attention to the music, it could’ve very well stopped by now.  
The world could’ve stopped by now, and I wouldn’t have noticed. Everything I could sense was John. The heat of his body, his trademark shampoo fragrance, the scent of his bloody delicious perfume and his lips, his whole body surrounding mine.  
I almost felt defeated for a second, I was so carried away by the kiss that I wasn’t really doing anything but holding onto him for dear life. I had dreamt a thousand times and spent hours of my life in total just thinking about kissing John, and none of those fantasies were up to what it was actually feeling like. He was that good.  
It was over probably too soon, John separated his lips from mine with extreme softness, grabbing my face tightly, and then he opened his eyes, all pupils by now. He stared at me hungrily for a few seconds before saying: “Maybe stop right there”.  
“I could go on”, I replied with a voice that didn’t at all sound like mine.  
He smiled teasingly. “So could I, that’s why.”  
I got his meaning and went: “Oh.”  
“Emma…”  
“John?”  
“Baker Street?”  
I held my breath. I was still grabbing his jacket and his hands were still holding my undoubtedly red face.  
I managed to speak. “I… I thought you and Sherlock had to speak to the owner to get the case?”  
John sniffed. “Just Sherlock will do, we were here just as company. Doubt he will need me.”  
“He always does.”  
He looked cross. “You could just say no…”  
“It’s not that!”  
“Then what is it?”  
I was terrified. Apparently I was just trying to save some time to think it over. It wasn’t so much a matter of inhibition, but simply my insecurity crawling its way into my nerves. If John was that good a kisser, what would that make him a lover?  
I could barely hide the fact that I was shaking, but he didn’t seem to pay mind of this. He was breathing loudly, awaiting my reply, which finally came out in a small whimper.  
“I’m sorry. It’s just… One second we’re friends, the next I tell you what I feel, then we kiss and now you—we…”  
“Well, it’s usually the way it happens”, he said, a thin smile on his lips. “You’re clearly not familiar with Hollywood movies, are you?”  
I wanted to laugh at that, I really did.  
“You really want to…?”  
He pulled me close again, not breaking eye contact. “Believe me, I do”, he said in a low voice.  
My shields went down.  
“Then what the hell…”  
He made a pleased purr of surprise and grabbed my right hand. He walked me out of the mass of people who, I then noticed, were staring at us. But I couldn’t care less.  
I followed a very determined John across the big room and soon we were out in the cold again, which contrasted with the heat of my body. We went down the stairs and onto the street and John’s hand raised as soon as a cab was seen turning round the corner.  
“After you, beautiful”, he told me and I giggled as I entered the car. John did so too right after me and accommodated himself in the seat so that there was not an inch between each other. He purred a quick Baker Street to the cabbie and put an arm on the back of the seat and around my head. He used his other hand to grab my face and to quickly but softly turn my whole attention to him, then he placed his lips on mine without even letting me consider it. The kiss was of course welcome, anyway, and soon he was toying with my hair, caressing it and curling it, making me shiver. I still managed to separate myself from him just a bit to address the cabbie and give him some more information.  
“221 Baker Street, plea—“, and John was kissing me again.  
We were giggling and our hands were everywhere we could reach without making things too hot, given we were in the back of a cab.  
John’s kisses had a particular way of making me lose the sense of time. We suddenly were at Baker Street and we wouldn’t even have noticed the cab had stopped if the cabbie wouldn’t have coughed awkwardly.  
We broke the kiss and I felt my lips were swollen. John paid the cabbie with a clearly random amount of notes and said: “Keep the change!”  
I bursted into laughter as we exited. Baker Street was already deserted. John rummaged for his keys and in seconds we were in, up the stairs and into the flat.  
“Sorry about the mess”, John said.  
“What mess? This is how your flat always looks.”  
His smile was too beautiful for me to handle it. I threw myself on the boys’ couch and signaled him to join me. He could’ve simply sat next to me but instead he jumped on me, going hungrily for my mouth, and slowly pushed me and guided me gently so my back was lying on the couch, his lips glued to mine as he did it.  
His fingers were playful on my hips, tugging the fabric of my dress with no success in doing anything else other than messing it and wrinkling it. It would be hard to undress me if we didn’t stop the snogging, but John was determined not to separate his body from mine, which I didn’t mind at all.  
He kissed me nonstop and deeply until I felt the need to pull his head away to get some air. We were panting heavily. The look on his eyes was lascivious, he looked nothing like the John Watson I knew, but instead he was more of an animal. That simple thought sent a shiver through my spine.  
Did I want John Watson that much as well?  
He wasted no more time and resumed his kissing, this time submerging himself away from my sight, and started pecking the right side of my neck at the same time he began rocking against my body.  
Yes, yes I did.  
I felt useless again. He was doing all the work. I wasn’t even strong enough to caress him at all; I was a melting pudding under him. Moaning by now and unable to form words. I felt him bite and suck as to leave a love bite; now I couldn’t really lie to Molly about this.  
When I was finally able to speak, all that came out was his name. His face reappeared in my visual field and he said: “Do you want me to stop?” His face was a very concerned one.  
“What? The only thing I want you to stop doing is being a gentleman.” I gave him a teasing smile.  
He looked surprised for a second, as if trying to process my words. Then he took a deep breath and his voice sounded very dangerous when he warned: “You really shouldn’t say something like that to a man.”  
“Am I in trouble now?” I was definitely feeling very adventurous that night.  
“Oh, yeah.”  
I wondered what would happen next. And I’m still wondering since John’s phone went off at that point, making me jump sky high and making John stare at a blank spot behind me for a few seconds pulling a very amusing face of resignation.  
"This can't be happening", said he, still above me. I laughed and he looked at me with a miserable but funny expression.  
"It's probably Sherlock, you should read that", I suggested.  
"He can bloody go fuck himself in the arse with a--"  
"John!"  
"Sorry, it's just..."  
"Hey..." I whispered, stroking his hair with tenderness. "I'm not going anywhere... Not that you're letting me, anyway."  
He half smiled.  
"We can resume this whenever you like. Whenever and wherever you order, Captain." I bit my lip and he growled.  
He took a look at his mobile and went: “Yup”, confirming it was in fact his friend.  
A few moments later, he was on his feet and getting his coat from the chair where he had tossed it only minutes ago.  
“Wait”, I called him. John turned to face me, still looking a bit annoyed by the whole thing. “You should…” I sat on the sofa and gestured him to come near me again. He did so and I tugged his shirt into his trousers, which didn’t seem inadequate at the moment, nor was it, but after I was finished we stayed still for a few seconds and I’m sure he felt as weird as I did. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have…” I started. But he bent his knees so his face was aligned with mine and kissed me softly but briefly. I shivered. That had me silent until I saw him walk pass the door.  
“Hang on! You going by yourself?”  
John didn’t stop walking and simply shouted: “Course I am. You stay right here!”  
I snorted. Great. Didn’t get to sleep with him, didn’t get to go on a case either. What a night!  
I tried to drive my attention to the rather exciting fact that I was alone at the boys’ flat. The place was a mess, but one I had grown to love. I rummaged through the sofa pillows trying to find the remote, and my hands got to my mobile first. Surely it had fallen off my pocket while me and John… I couldn’t quite believe it, still, and I wasn’t even drunk or anything. It had really happened. John actually liked me back. And boy did he. I squealed and unlocked the phone; Molly didn’t know about it all yet!  
I rang her with shaky hands, barely able to stay still on the sofa. As soon as I got up, I realized she would not pick up. Voicemail went through and I hesitated. I could tell her about it later, I thought.  
The Notebook was on the telly. Too corny for me to handle it, I was still a bit horny. Though that didn’t mean porn was what I needed. I watched a god awful boring documentary about birds, narrated by Morgan Freeman himself. From time to time I would get up and wander around the flat, looking but not touching. I noticed how many books John and Sherlock had and smiled to myself when my eyes met a particular one called “The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers”. I went to the kitchen and I noticed someone was looking at me all the way from the sink. When I got closer I realized it was a pair of freaking eyeballs placed on a bowl full of what looked like pasta. If I was any hungry before that, gone now, thanks.  
The bathroom was next. I had already been there, but the thought of being alone always made things exciting for me. It wasn’t after a few seconds that I realized that wasn’t the place I wanted to visit. My feet got me there in a matter of seconds and the next thing I knew was I was in John’s room. I turned on the lights and there was no doubt I was in the right place. The place screamed John’s name. His scent, his favourite colours, his RAMC mug and his cane, forgotten in one corner as a souvenir, he had told me once. The light was dim and the walls were beige, but the beautiful kind of beige. Probably the reason simply being it was his room. The bed was made, but no Mrs Hudson here, this was all him. I felt bad but couldn’t help to sit on it and take a deep breath. I threw myself backwards and just stayed there. I only realized I had fallen asleep when my phone rang loudly downstairs. I jumped off the bed and down the stairs and picked the mobile before I saw the screen. It was John.  
“John! What’s going on? Are you alright?”  
His voice sounded way too worn out and that scared the shit out of me.  
“Emma, I’m alright. You should… You should come to Bart’s.”  
“Oh, my God, what happened? Is Sherlock okay?”  
“Yes. Yes, he’s okay. It’s… Molly.”  
My stomach sank.  
“W-what happened to her?”  
John sighed heavily.  
“John, what happened to her?!”  
“She got shot. She’s out cold.”


	9. Night at St Barts

I heard John call my name a few times, but I couldn’t articulate a word.  
He continued anyway:  
“Listen, don’t panic. She’ll be fine. I’ll send a cab over so you can come here, okay? Be ready in ten and again, don’t panic. See you in a bit.”  
“Yes…”  
“Goodbye.”  
And that was it.  
My legs felt weak, but I still somehow managed to grab my things and exit the flat. There was no need for me to be there that early, but I couldn’t stay still. How was it possible Molly’d been shot? What the hell had happened? I couldn’t risk myself to think even for a second of a bad outcome, my nerves wouldn’t handle it. I was beginning to panic when a cab appeared round the corner and luckily stopped right in front of me.  
“Is this Miss Emma?” shouted the cabbie from the front seat.  
“Yes”, I replied breathless, and got into the back of the car.  
“Do you know anything about the incident? Anything at all?” I asked. I right away knew it was in vain.  
“Sorry, no. The man who called only gave us instructions to pick Emma from 221 Baker Street and take her immediately to St Barts Hospital.”  
“Okay.”  
“Are you alright?” the young man looked worried through the rear view mirror.  
“A friend has been shot. I don’t know how, I just know that.”  
“Blimey, I’m so sorry. We’ll get there in a minute, Miss.”  
“Thank you.”  
The lights of the city made me feel dizzy. I looked down for a while and then up again just in case we were going the wrong way or something. Though I would have been too weak to fight at all.  
When I finally saw the hospital a few streets away I felt the urge to come out of the cab and just run, but I contained myself. Moments later we were parked at the main entrance and the cabbie turned to me.  
“This is in charge of Mr Sherlock Holmes, Miss.” I didn’t even remember you had to pay the cabbie after a trip, not at that moment. “I hope everything turns out okay.”  
I sighed. “Thank you very much. Night.”  
“Night.”  
And finally I was out.  
I saw John inside the hall, looking at me with apprehension. His face changed to a chillier one once he noticed (a little bit too late) I had my eyes on him already. He walked a few steps to meet me and put his arms around me, holding me very tight.  
“Please tell me she’s okay.”  
He spoke a little too late and I started to shake from head to toes.  
“She is stable… But very delicate.”  
He surely noticed I was shaking heavily, because he spoke in a very soft voice to my ear:  
“Relax. It’s not all lost. Our hopes are high.”  
“Don’t go all doctorish on me, please, John.”  
I bet he smiled a bit at that, though I could not see him, since he was still holding me. I could hear his heart pounding against his chest, very firmly, but at an easy pace, so I started to relax after a while.  
“That’s it…”  
“What happened?” I asked him.  
John took a deep breath and began: “In a few words, apparently the case Sherlock was after was a bit too noisy. Not sure how they managed to get in carrying all those guns, but they did, and they started mayhem. They only shot once… Only once.”  
He held me even tighter.  
“Oh my God…” was all I managed to say.  
“Her left rib”, he said, replying to a question I had not asked, but was instead stuck in my throat. “She didn’t bleed too much, apparently. And she went out cold instantly, most likely due to the shock. She… she’s been unconscious for an hour now and her heart is struggling, but there’s no reason to think she will not make it.”  
I let out a sob and that was it. I started crying heavily.  
“Oh, Emma…”  
John didn’t sound his best either. He sniffed and led me outside, his arm around my shoulders and his head very close to mine.  
“Wait—wait, I want to see her!”  
“We can’t, I’m afraid. The doctors are still trying to… They’re still there.”  
We sat on a bench outside the hospital. It was cold, but I had my coat on. John hadn’t his, though.  
He was looking at me, still very close. After a minute or two the sobbing ceased and led the way to horrible and embarrassing hiccups. John caressed my hand and kept staring at me with a very calm expression on his already worn out face.  
“How do you feel, love?” he wanted to know.  
“Like shit”, I informed him and put my head on his shoulder. He touched my leg and caressed it with his thumb. Then raised his hand up my arm very softly to end up on my neck, where he resumed the strokes extremely smoothly, sending shivers through my spine. I moved my head a bit so our eyes would meet, and he kissed my lips gently, still grabbing me by the neck. I took his face and caressed his cheek with my thumb.  
We kissed quietly for long minutes; all we could hear was each other’s breath and the soft sucking noise that escaped somewhere between our lips every time they broke apart. What had happened on his sofa seemed so long ago. I didn’t even feel in the mood for smut anymore. All I wanted to do in any case was to tell John how in love I was falling with him, it only didn’t appear to be the proper time, but still…  
We separated to catch some air and he kissed my cheeks, forehead and every inch of my face with extreme care.  
“John…”  
“Yes?” He looked at me innocently, his blue eyes shining brightly under the lamps on the entrance.  
But what could I say? Was there a way to say I love you without making the other hear church bells? Apparently not, I thought. John was surely one to run away in despair at the thought of someone loving him, but he also didn’t seem to want to run away from me now. He looked more likely to wish to stay right there forever. His smile was so beautiful, so pure. I forgot how to say words out loud, so he spoke first.  
“It’s okay.” He smiled brightly. “It’s okay, gorgeous, we’ll discuss it later.”  
“You’re the only gorgeous thing here.”  
“Oh!” he went, positively surprised, and gave me a huge grin. He was about to say something else, but his mobile went bip. He hurriedly took it out of his front pockets.  
“It’s Sherlock.” He informed and proceeded to read carefully. “She’s awake!”  
“Oh, thank God!” I cried. But John held out a hand to stop me from getting up.  
“We’re not allowed to pay her a visit as of yet.”  
I cursed a bit and John raised an eyebrow, but smiled playfully.  
“So, is Sherlock around the room?” I wanted to know.  
“He’s been outside bugging every single person he could for the last hour. He was the one to carry her to the ambulance, didn’t let the guys do it, and went straight away to sit next to her. I followed them at my own pace.” I was smiling, so he continued. “You should’ve seen his face, Emma. He was so fucking upset. I don’t think those fuckers will come around for a very long time.”  
He gave me no details, though I didn’t need them. All I was happy with knowing was Sherlock cared so much about my friend.  
“Does she talk about that, Molly?” John asked me after a minute of silence, looking away while shoving his mobile phone back into his pocket. “Does she talk about her liking Sherlock?”  
“Course she does. She doesn’t even need to, you know. So yeah, we tend to have long conversations about you two, sometimes.”  
Thought that had been a bit too lame a confession, but John was beaming.  
“Why? Do you like me?”  
“Mad about you.”  
He looked as if he wanted to say something. I continued anyway:  
“I thought it was obvious as well.”  
“Ha, well, no. Sherlock surely picked up on it, but I didn’t.”  
“I behaved in a way not even the most oblivious of men could miss it, especially not you. I would have sworn you had the rare ability to smell when a woman a mile away has the hots for you.”  
He chuckled. “I have that reputation, I guess. But at the same time a very good friend of mine has pointed out more than once that I tend to see, but not observe, so… There you are.”  
“That friend of yours was a genius for all the unexpected reasons. He set it up so you could take me as your plus one tonight.”  
I caressed his sandy hair and quickly kissed his smirking lips. He placed his face on the curve of my neck, his laughter feeling warm on my skin. I looked up and I saw Sherlock standing next to us, leaning on the door frame. He was smoking and not really paying any damn attention to us.  
“Sherlock…” I said. John turned to see him. “How is she?”  
The detective didn’t look at me when he replied: “Better.”  
“Good better or she’s just better than before better?” I asked while getting up the bench. John stayed in place.  
Sherlock looked down at me and I could see what John had been talking about a few moments before. His eyes looked worn out and the hand holding the cigar was shaking slightly.  
“Just… better”, he finally replied coldly.  
“When am I going to be able to see her? I need to see her. If she’s awake she’ll be glad to know we’re here.”  
“I imagine she knows we’d be here, Em”, John interjected.  
Sherlock took the cigar back to his mouth and away again, holding the smoke in for a few seconds before letting it all out with a noisy but gentle blow. I finally understood he wanted to be alone, so I turned my attention back to John.  
“I want to stay here for the night.”  
“Of course”, the blond said, smiling wearily.  
“Not that I need your permission…”  
“Right.”  
“… but just a heads up in case you want to do the same.”  
“Of course”, he repeated and his eyes were suddenly on his flatmate, who turned his head to us just a bit and added:  
“There’s a guest room on the second floor you’ll find adequate. There are food and beverage machines and comfortable chairs… No beds, though.”  
Was that a flashing smile? It most certainly looked like it.  
John took a deep breath, got up and put his hand around my waist.  
“Very well, then. Shall we?”  
We started walking our way back into the reception and I turned back to the tall man before the automatic doors were able to close after us: “Good night, Sherlock. Please call us as soon as you have news.”  
He nodded and stepped on his finished cigar, fishing his coat pocket for a new one, which he lit almost instantly.


End file.
